Dear Annie, I sort of messed things up with this girl I used to be close with. She’s smart, funny, outgoing, and she’s a senior on ASB, if that wasn’t enough. She was awesome, and still is. We were really close last year, but I messed things up between us before this year started. I tried talking to her again when I found out we had a couple classes together, but that didn’t work out to well. It’s not that she’s shutting me out. It just feels awkward whenever we talk now. But I really want to be her friend again. I really do. I miss her. How do I become close with her again?
Dear Regretful Guy,
First things first, have you thought about how she feels towards you in terms of how she would feel about rebuilding that friendship you both once had? Second its important to keep an open mind about the possibilities that could happen if things do not work out rebuilding the friendship. Lastly if you and this girl were really close at one point then being friends again might be a real possibility.
Things might seem complicated at first but things are not always what they seem. Taking the first step in trying to rebuild a friendship is never easy but the most obvious thing you can do is to try and strike a conversation with her when it feels like the right moment to you. You don’t necessarily need to have an hour long conversation with her the first time. A simple hello or goodbye can make the biggest difference instead of not saying anything at all. Since you’ve known her for a year now, you should know some of her interests and try to talk about what she likes, but not making it sound like its an interview. There are many chances for you to have a casual conversation with her. For example, since you’re in a couple classes together talk about the work you have to do. If the conversation feels awkward then just remember that its only awkward if you make it awkward. When talking to her just talk to her like you would have before things went bad.
Give it time and when she sees your trying to fix your friendship things will then most likely go back to normal. Healing a friendship takes two to fix it. You can’t expect to fix it yourself out of nowhere. It’s going to take time and patience but most of all if you talk to her little by little each day you will most likely redeem yourself slowly. All friendships have bumps along the road. It takes two to tango, though. If she isn’t willing to give you a chance or at least try and work things out then no matter how much you want it to go back to the way things were then its not fair for you to waist your time and hers time as well.